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50 shades of grey christian counseling divine humor inspirational mental health pulling back the shades reading reedeming love sexual abuse sexual violence

50 shades of what?

Oh the women who’ve asked their friends this question over the past several years…Some have read it gladly, some have read it secretly, some haven’t read it because of guilt of who would find out, some haven’t read it for other personal reasons. Let me start out by saying we shouldn’t judge others and put ourselves on a pedestal for having read or not having read anything. This is not a judgmental blog, simply one I hope you think about…

The book 50 Shades of Grey, the book by EL James is widely popular. I agree with authors Stattery and Gresh of their book Pulling back the shades that the  “50 shaded” book addresses the needs of women to:

  • to be cherished by a man
  • to be protected by a strong man
  • to rescue a man
  • to be sexually alive
  • to escape reality

All little girls need to be cherished by a father, protected by a father, and then I think they grow up wanting the same things. Being nurturers by nature, we also want to rescue at times. God made us sexual beings and in the right context, it truly can be experienced as His gift to us. We also at times want and need to escape reality. However, outside of God’s plan and help many women seek to fulfill these longings in the wrong places. Our longings that God created will never be fulfilled out of his will and ways. Only when addressed according to God’s standards, do I believe these longings can truthfully be addressed.

The statistics on sexual abuse and violence are extremely horrifying. I do not agree with the “50 shades” book showing that the way to heal from being taking advantage of is to ask someone else if they’d willing let you take advantage of him/her. It definitely romanticizes many things about sex. One sad truth told is that if you don’t properly deal with your pain, you will transfer it to others, mostly likely the ones you love the most. God intended sex for wonderful things as a gift to married people. However, sadly the devil has perverted this wonderful gift in many disturbing ways and so many people are hurt, devastated and traumatized. But, I believe individuals don’t have to be forever damaged by these acts. I believe with God’s help, intensive counseling, and loving friends/family healing is possible.

Positive ways to be cherished, loved, and protected can be found in God. Read the Psalms and, let him love you. Let him protect you and He cherished you already more than you know. Let Him love you thru allowing others to help you. Look at all of the goods things in your life, James 1:7 says these are all from God. Realize how much you are cherished and protected by focusing on the good in your life. If you are married, be sexually alive with your spouse. God didn’t just intend sex for us to reproduce or else the Song of Songs wouldn’t be in the Bible…If it is difficult for you to enjoy sex in your marriage, get counseling! Lastly, if you need a way to escape reality, try reading Redeming Love by Francine Rivers or Divine by Karen Kingsbury or simply get out into nature and enjoy creation!

Have a great week and God Bless,

Natalie 🙂

By Natalie Atwell Counseling

Dr. Natalie Atwell is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Supervisor in NC and a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor. She values being transparent, honest, knowing when to be silly and when not to be silly (which isn't that often) and thinks laughter is a gift from God.

4 replies on “50 shades of what?”

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