I’m trying the blog thing…

Hello Mom (I realize you may be the only person reading this at first…),

I’ve been thinking about starting a blog to discuss counseling topics in a real and honest way while spreading my own comical takes on the issues. Many people I’ve come in contact with struggle with mental health either personally, among family, friends, co-workers, etc. It is something we all may have to deal with at some point or another in life. We may simply deal with counseling topics in a general manner too.

So, I thought I’d share what I’m learning this week. I’ve been studying the book of James in the Bible…Pastor James is kicking my butt. He doesn’t beat around the bush or (shoot around the bush as I said teaching by mistake…). In chapter 4 James discussed how to deal with conflict. We all love conflict I know…It is a part of life that we can learn to deal with in a healthy manner.

Here are a few tips from James (my paraphrase…)

  • Most of our arguments, conflicts come from our own selfish desires. Consider in certain areas of conflict where you are being selfish. Can you put aside your selfishness in the matter?
  • Stop envying others and spend that time and energy asking God for the things you desire.
  • Be humble. Accept when you are wrong. Give grace like God does. Some of us need more than others.
  • Resist evil (the devil), resist selfishness, resist bad motives/intentions. Submit to God, be kind, loving, and forgiving
  • Don’t judge others. We weren’t created to judge, it makes us feel horrible when we try to do it. Judgment is God’s not ours.

Ok, that’s it! Easy enough. In the words of my six year old son, “Done”. Seriously, it is tough stuff. However, if we handle ourselves properly during times of conflict it can make a huge impact in the lives of others.

Ok, now I need to read James again…I’m obviously a slow learner..or hard-headed one…the jury is out on this one.
Be intentional about things that matter,
humor mental health

Fear and boobs: version 2.0

What are your biggest fears? They are likely not the same as they were when you were a child. When I was a little girl, my wonderful parents (who still haven’t read my blog, I will use that in a blog on humility vs. narcism later on… 🙂 )… let me watch a show where a bear broke in a cabin of a family and harmed the family. As a result, I had nightmares about bears for a long time after that episode. I overcame this fear by going camping with a friend b/c I loved her and her family. As a teenager, I was afraid of cobras (I realize this is not a popular snake in NC, but it was still scary to me). I overcame this fear by being thrown off of a golf cart on the wrong side of a lake at a church youth camp. Good times, and lots of laughs in the end.

Facing fears often has a way of alleviating anxiety whether you do so by imagining a certain event happening and planning for worst case scenario or whether you actually face the fear. Probably the biggest fear I’ve faced wasn’t one I realized I had until it happened. Last year, I found a lump in my breast that my OBGYN was concerned about. Over a period of a month and 1/2 I was poked at, prodded at, and felt up more than I was during my dating years…(If my parents do read this, I promise it wasn’t that much…) I wasn’t afraid of cancer and dying. I was afraid of leaving my children because they are so young. They have a wonderful father, but I didn’t want them to grow up without a mother.

New Image is me and my mom from this year’s conference with TC Stallings from the movie the War Room. I highly recommend it.

New addition to this story: for those who know me, they also likely know the story that goes with my breast lump scare…I was at a conference for christian counselors (2013) and I was crying during one of the speakers who was speaking about his wife dying of breast cancer. Often times, we think the worst when we get bad news…After the speaker, a lady came up to me noticing my ugly swollen cry face and asked if she could pray with me. “Of course!” I said and told her what was going on, so as we bowed our heads and prayed she also put her hand on my breast to pray for my boob…Of course since I’m normally very silly, my tears turned into an inner giggle. I’m not opposed to people laying their hands on one another and praying together, but I don’t recommend a private body part. My mom said, thank God you didn’t have a cervical cancer scare. LOL. God loves me and knows I need this humorous moment. I know that lady didn’t mean anything but to be helpful, however, it was awkward and funny to me but God answered her prayers and am healthy!

This is a scary thing as a mother, but I had to face it in theory. Thankfully, everything checked out ok and apparently I just have weird lumpy boobs. Too bad the lumps aren’t bigger…:) just kidding.

Here are a few healthy ways I’ve found to deal with fears:

-Prepare yourself for worst case scenario but live like the best case has happened. For example, If you fear death and leaving a family behind, have a will, life insurance policy, family/friends who are willing to help with your children. Live today and have fun with those around you.

-Think like a statistician: I’ve heard it said that 90% of things you worry about never come true.

-Transition your thoughts: Start thinking about others more than yourself. Does a neighbor need help with a home project? Can you volunteer somewhere? Get busy doing for others and you’ll be amazed how much you don’t even have time to sit and worry about your own fears.

-Treat everyday as if it were the last in some ways: don’t call in sick and go bungee jumping but tell your family you love them, be kind to everyone, stop complaining, forgive others and/or ask for forgiveness.

-Lastly, for me personally, my belief in God encourages me by verses such as “Do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you.”(1Chron 28:20) “Be strong and courageous…” (Deut 31:6)

Have a great week!