Category: christian counseling

Categories
christian counseling counseling divine encouragement humor inspiration inspirational mental health positive thinking snow day snow day tips Uncategorized what not to do

5 things not to do during a snow/ice day

Since most of of us on the east coast are snowed/iced in, I thought I offer up some tips on what not to do. We have plenty of tips available online for what to do, so here are some humorous thoughts for what not to do…(with the help of my husband…)

1-Do not try to heat your home with your outdoor grill. The fireman in your area will have a much more difficult time trying to get to you when you burn your house down. Instead warm your heart and soul with your family. Tell funny stories to your kids about your childhood. Play some of your favorite childhood games with your kids. Snuggle up on the couch together to keep warm instead.

2-Do not eat yellow snow.  I watched the cutest video of a friend’s daughter this morning licking her window in an attempt to experience the snow from inside. By all means, go outside, find some clean, white snow and make some yummy snow cream. Just remember that yellow snow does not make lemon flavored snow cream.

3-Don’t feed your addiction to the internet. It is ok to read a good blog…check your social media once a day, order a birthday gift, or look up an interesting fact or two. Just don’t stay online all day because you feel stuck inside. Be creative, do something different. Make something, draw, color with your family, etc. Earlier, I was studying the 10 plagues of Egypt and I learned that as God was using these plagues to get Pharoah’s attention, he was also confronting their false gods (i.e the nile was a god to them, they had a fertility goddess with a frog head, etc). It made me wonder what plagues God would put on us today if he wanted to confront the things we worship instead of him. I kind of feel like he’d put a plague on the Internet…

4-Don’t speed. I’m all about venturing out, but don’t be stupid. If you are normally not a great driver, don’t have much experience driving on icy roads, or people who love you are advising you not to drive, just stay inside or be a passenger. However, never be afraid to venture out even if you don’t leave the driveway or parking lot.  Explore God’s beauty.

5-Don’t make a snow day schedule. Enjoy the down time and rest. God created rest. We just don’t often enjoy his creation of rest. We need it, our bodies require it. So take a nap, stay in your pjs a little bit longer (although the people around you would appreciate you brushing your teeth at some point) and enjoy this gift of time to rest.

Enjoying God’s gift of snow today,

Natalie 🙂

 

Categories
christian counseling counseling encouragement goals humor inspiration inspirational mental health New year new years resolutions No regrets positive thinking Uncategorized

How to have no “ragrets”

A while back a good friend of mine was thinking about getting a tattoo so I decided to help her look for a nice one and found the one in the featured picture. I wonder if the person in the picture has any regrets about his/her tattoo.

As the new year begins, many people enjoy the idea of a fresh start, a new chance to make goals and work towards achieving those goals, or simply having a clean home after taking down all the holiday decorations. Personally, I enjoy getting back into my normal routine.

Unfortunately, many people begin feeling frustrated after a few months or maybe a few weeks of struggling with trying to achieve the goals set as the New Year started. Sometimes frustrations lead to regret. At times, frustrations simply mean you need to get your mind and will focused on the new change because it feels different. Frustrations shouldn’t lead us to quit altogether, but we may need to try something different or at least a different approach.

I’ve met many people who have regrets about their past or life in general. It often makes me sad to see people wish they could do things differently or feel like they missed out on something. One of the things I am appreciative of for being a Christian is that I don’t have to have regrets about anything in my life or feel like I’ve missed out on anything because the best is yet to come. As a believer in Jesus, I believe he has washed away all of my past sin and I don’t have to continue making bad choices because I have God’s help now to live differently. Of course, I still screw up daily but knowing God loves me enough to lay down his life makes me want to live differently. According to Revelation 21:5, “He will make all things new”. One day all will be new, our minds, our hearts, our past…

Also, I believe I won’t miss out on anything because in Heaven, I’ll live in a perfect world and get to do everything I didn’t get a chance to do in this life. The best is truly yet to come. 1 Corinthians 2:9 says, “…eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”

Enjoy having no regrets in 2016!

Natalie 🙂

 

 

 

Categories
christian counseling christmas counseling divine encouragement humor inspiration inspirational mental health positive thinking reedeming love Uncategorized

Tis the season to be…

Merry or overwhelmed? Natalie is the name my parents gave to me and although I don’t think they looked into the meaning of it when they named me it actually fits in some ways. Natalie means “Christmas child”. I have always loved Christmas. I love the lights, the displays, the food, the music (specifically Mariah Carey’s Christmas album, it’s the best, don’t argue with me) and one of my all time favorite movies is Christmas Vacation. However, the older I get the more I am beginning to hate what this time of year has become.

Here’s a look at some interesting and sad things I’ve read recently about Christmas:

-Americans spend about $900 on Christmas (gifts, food, cards, decor, etc) on average person. So if you are a couple you spend about 1800 on christmas and a family of four spends $2800.

-Americans on average spend about $2900 per year to charities.Yes some spend this on Christmas alone…

-Americans billions a year just on wrapping paper.

-The “holiday blues” is a term…

-Many families dispute and have drama during the holidays.

-Many kids are brats and are showered with more than they know what to do with because some adults in their lives think they deserve every toy in the store.

Sadly, the list goes on…

However, if you look at the history of celebrations during this time of year, so of the end of year celebrations including yule logs (“I mean I don’t have a log”-chevy chase from the movie.lol), special trees, big meals, etc. actually begin before Christ was born. Some how the craziness of this year has infiltrated even the precious birth of Jesus. Christmas wasn’t a national holiday when the pilgrims came because they didn’t want to carry on the pagan traditions of they former countries. So how in the world did we get here…well it is truly an evolution of stories, traditions, etc.  some good, some bad.

My challenge for you this season is to stop and think:

-Am I truly giving out of love for others or is it about me looking good and/or seeking approval?

-Is there a family member I need to forgive just like Jesus came to forgive us of our sins? Or is my personal agenda more important than a true apology (as my friend Jason recently reminded me).

-Are we being compassionate instead of bitter at those who’ve hurt us during this time? (again a reminder from Jason) Even if you are mad at God for losing a loved one this year…have you considered that you aren’t alone and others around you may be hurting too. Have you considered being compassionate to one of those individuals?

-Are there things I need to give up during this time in order to slow down and reflect during this time?

-Am I thinking about the greatest gift of all with each gift I give?

If you are a Christian, stop and consider how others may be watching you during this season. Are you sharing the love of Jesus in this season or are you overwhelmed and sharing a bad attitude b/c of all the other stuff?

Love you all and Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends!

Natalie

 

 

 

Categories
christian counseling positive thinking Uncategorized

What superpower would you like to have?

Counselors often ask weird questions like, “if you could have a superpower, what would it be?” A woman whose suspects her husband of cheating might like to have the power of being invisible so she could spy. A traveling businessman may like to fly so he didn’t have to wait at the airport. Having boys, I have been asked this question too. As a matter of fact, one of my boys asked me which superhero was my favorite and I said “Captain America” (honestly because he’s the cutest) and my son being the wonderful judge of character he is, said, “why because you want to kiss him?”, No I said…”because I’m patriotic and love my country;  besides, I can only kiss your daddy like that ;).” Kids…

Here’s a thought on what I consider to be a true superpower, LOVE. We see images of love all around, we see things in then media that look like love according to some, we hear songs about love all over the radio, etc. Let’s look at love as a superpower and maybe it’ll help you through a Thanksgiving dinner or other fun and challenging moments in life.

1 Corinthians 12: 3-14 gives a completely different definition of love than what were are often exposed to in this crazy world. It introduces the definition in verses 3-7 by saying “If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.”

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Do you have this superpower? Love has the power to transform lives, free people from pain, heal, and much more. This is much more effective than being invisible or flying. We long and need to experience this superpower. ry this definition of love and see what happens!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankful for the love of Christ who showed this definition of love by laying his life down for me,

Natalie 🙂

Categories
boundaries christian counseling counseling divine encouragement inspiration mental health

Keeping your mouth shut…

Anyone who knows me, knows this is a struggle for me. It is an area in my life that I constantly have to work on. We all have at least one of these types of struggles… There are times when I think I’m doing better and learning and using my words for good, then I fall flat on my face and realize I still need to be humble in this area and need God’s help..

Yesterday I gave my sister a pretty big piece of my mind. She didn’t exactly ask for it, but when she called it was on! Of course in my mind, I was expressing helpful, honest thoughts that she obviously hadn’t thought about before. The problem is it wasn’t the right time nor was I in the right frame of mind to consider whether or not she was asking for my thoughts so it wasn’t pretty.

I’m a teacher, counselor, mother, etc. and people often ask my opinion. I’ve learned but am still learning that we must have boundaries even in the areas of giftedness in our lives. I also need to be sensitive as to what role I need to play in a situation and to learn whether or not an opinion is warranted.

Maybe your struggle isn’t your mouth. Whatever it is, I love how Priscilla Shirer encourages us, “When we live within the boundaries that God’s spirit impresses upon us, the things we do have will be accompanied by a divine nod of approval that will multiply their usefulness and our enjoyment of them.”

You see over the years, my sister has at times asked my opinion and I think often values it, which if you knew us is saying a lot, but yesterday I didn’t live within God’s boundaries and I didn’t wait for his divine nod of approval for me to share thoughts/concerns with her; therefore, it resulted in a fight.

The good news is, we can fight and get over it fast which we are less than 24 hours later. We are all a work in progress. This week, think about your strengths and think about proper boundaries you should should place around those so that you’ll use them in just the right times and places.

Thankful for forgiveness,

Natalie 🙂

Categories
christian counseling counseling encouragement humor inspirational mental health spelling bee

Does a funny spelling bee announcer ease your disappointment?

I read an article in USA today and came across this when talking about the National spelling Bee, “…A collective sigh could be heard when spellers were eliminated when they missed words like “menhaden” (a type of fish), “citronella” (an oil used as insecticide) and “verbigeration” (continual repetition of stereotyped phrases). Applause followed each spelling. Laughter often rang out when pronouncer Jacques Bailly used words in humorous sentences — for “odyssey” he talked about getting lost in Costco for 35 minutes.”

I’m sure in the moment and context it was rather humorous and the announcer hopefully helped some of the disappointed children who studied so hard to prepare but in the end fell short. No one normal likes to see a disappointed kid. Of course, as adults if we cushion our children too much and never allow them to be disappointed this often makes them turn out to be bratty, annoying adults.

Life also allows very difficult disappointments that can be devastating such as infertility, a failed pregnancy, cancer, divorce, family disputes, not getting a job, losing a job, and much more. Some often wonder if there is a “God” why he would allow hurt and devastation. I don’t know all the answers but I know this. Hurt, devastation, loss, disappointment, and all evil was not God’s intention when he created us. He desires that we live an abundant life. However, when humans decided to go against God in the beginning, hurt, pain, devastation, and all evil was the result. I think God’s heart breaks when we are disappointed. I know this was not his plan, but thankfully He made a way through his son Jesus to restore us!

God can use all things (good and bad) to do a good work in our life. Think back in your own life, what have you learned from difficult times? What joy have you experienced on the other side of pain? I never want my kids to be disappointed but it will happen and when it does, I’ll be there to help them through it, to learn from it and hopefully plan for it not to be repeated. I think God as a loving heavenly father does just that. Let him love you and be with you through times of disappointment. Let your friends help you and encourage you. Ask for help and don’t try go through discouraging times alone.

1401317562000-AP-Spelling-Bee-002

Love, Natalie

I often hear people say if there is a “God” why would he let bad things happen.

Categories
50 shades of grey christian counseling divine humor inspirational mental health pulling back the shades reading reedeming love sexual abuse sexual violence

50 shades of what?

Oh the women who’ve asked their friends this question over the past several years…Some have read it gladly, some have read it secretly, some haven’t read it because of guilt of who would find out, some haven’t read it for other personal reasons. Let me start out by saying we shouldn’t judge others and put ourselves on a pedestal for having read or not having read anything. This is not a judgmental blog, simply one I hope you think about…

The book 50 Shades of Grey, the book by EL James is widely popular. I agree with authors Stattery and Gresh of their book Pulling back the shades that the  “50 shaded” book addresses the needs of women to:

  • to be cherished by a man
  • to be protected by a strong man
  • to rescue a man
  • to be sexually alive
  • to escape reality

All little girls need to be cherished by a father, protected by a father, and then I think they grow up wanting the same things. Being nurturers by nature, we also want to rescue at times. God made us sexual beings and in the right context, it truly can be experienced as His gift to us. We also at times want and need to escape reality. However, outside of God’s plan and help many women seek to fulfill these longings in the wrong places. Our longings that God created will never be fulfilled out of his will and ways. Only when addressed according to God’s standards, do I believe these longings can truthfully be addressed.

The statistics on sexual abuse and violence are extremely horrifying. I do not agree with the “50 shades” book showing that the way to heal from being taking advantage of is to ask someone else if they’d willing let you take advantage of him/her. It definitely romanticizes many things about sex. One sad truth told is that if you don’t properly deal with your pain, you will transfer it to others, mostly likely the ones you love the most. God intended sex for wonderful things as a gift to married people. However, sadly the devil has perverted this wonderful gift in many disturbing ways and so many people are hurt, devastated and traumatized. But, I believe individuals don’t have to be forever damaged by these acts. I believe with God’s help, intensive counseling, and loving friends/family healing is possible.

Positive ways to be cherished, loved, and protected can be found in God. Read the Psalms and, let him love you. Let him protect you and He cherished you already more than you know. Let Him love you thru allowing others to help you. Look at all of the goods things in your life, James 1:7 says these are all from God. Realize how much you are cherished and protected by focusing on the good in your life. If you are married, be sexually alive with your spouse. God didn’t just intend sex for us to reproduce or else the Song of Songs wouldn’t be in the Bible…If it is difficult for you to enjoy sex in your marriage, get counseling! Lastly, if you need a way to escape reality, try reading Redeming Love by Francine Rivers or Divine by Karen Kingsbury or simply get out into nature and enjoy creation!

Have a great week and God Bless,

Natalie 🙂

Categories
american sniper christian counseling counseling humor inspiration mental health military ptsd veterans

Not quite an American Sniper but a just as tough American Aircraft Mechanic!

IMG_2346

This past weekend, my husband and I went to see American Sniper. Scenes from the movie, thoughts about veterans, and mostly memories of my dad being in the military have replayed in my mind over and over the past few days. I don’t want to spoil the movie, but I highly recommend it.

I know I often write about my parents, and it’s honestly because I’m blessed to have some pretty amazing ones. My dad was an aircraft mechanic in the Air Force and Air National Guard for 36 years. He served in Desert Storm and the War on Terror in Afghanistan and Iraq during my childhood, teenage and young adult years. Honestly as a child, at first I hated him being gone because my mom was a drill sergeant when he was gone (as a mother now, I know why…dad was also the one who helped with homework…). The wives though are some of the truly unsung about heroines. Mom always said everything went wrong when dad left from water heaters breaking to snakes showing up on the front porch. I would have hated to see some of those terrorists up against my mom when my dad was gone. I watched her kill a bat with a broom and chop a snake’s head off with a shovel when he was gone one time. When he got home as a child, I wanted to know what treasure he brought me. He was gone sometimes 6+ months at a time. He also helped fight fires and things out west every year it seems. As a teen, I remember having nightmares about him in war. As a young adult, I remember meeting him at the airport once when he came home from a long trip to Afghanistan and I was so honored and so overwhelmed with pride, that I almost wanted to sign up for the Air National Guard so I could be like him. Who cares if he wasn’t a sniper, he and every service man and woman have very important jobs and do so to protect us and our freedoms!

I hope today’s blog encourages you to pray for our country, our leaders, our military, and anyone who fights for the freedoms we take for granted daily. I hope to inspire you to say “thank you” to service men and women you know, encourage the families of those who are here struggling while those in their families are serving or even write a congressman to support bills that fight for the proper treatment of veterans.

Lastly, support efforts to help veterans and their families adjust as they return home. PTSD is very serious and people suffering need our prayers, support and assistance whatever this means for you. Maybe it means volunteering, donating funds to aid in treatment of these individuals, paying for someone’s meal to say thanks, or simply saying thanks.

According to the http://www.ptsd.ne.gov site, An estimated 7.8 percent of Americans will experience PTSD at some point in their lives. About 3.6 percent of U.S. adults aged 18 to 54 (5.2 million people) have PTSD during the course of a given year. The traumatic events most often associated with PTSD for men are rape, combat exposure, childhood neglect, and childhood physical abuse. About 30 percent of the men and women who have spent time in war zones experience PTSD. An additional 20 to 25 percent have had partial PTSD at some point in their lives. PTSD is only one side effect of service, many lose families, and much more fighting to protect us.

I’ll end with the words of Dr. Martin Luther Kind Jr. “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: ‘what are you doing for others?'”

Proud to be an American,

Natalie 🙂

Categories
christian counseling counseling humor inspiration mental health Uncategorized

Traumatized by Kenny G…

For the younger readers..maybe I have one…:), the name Kenny G may not ring a bell to you. He is a talented musician and was popular in the 90s during my dating years. Of course, he was more popular with the adults than the teens…

Disclaimer: I do not apologize for sharing this story to benefit others even if it embarrasses my parents b/c they embarrassed me.. 🙂 I am not perfect, God is still working on me…I’m sure my kids will pay me back one day too..

It all began with me having a bad date with a guy who will remain nameless. He is probably the only one of my friends or acquaintances who doesn’t know this story..:) and may never know it… I wasn’t really that interested in him at the time which was really the only reason it wasn’t a great date. Anyways, I came into my home around 9pm and the lights were out all over the house. Still to this day, I do not know where my other two sisters were…one was 8 at the time, so she should have been home…maybe she was at a sleepover. At any rate, I walked to the back of the house where all of the bedrooms were and I hear Kenny G music playing from the parental bedroom…I banged on their door, said the music was too loud and hibernated in my room until I was 20…just kidding it was only until the next morning.

As you can imagine, this was traumatizing… the thought of my parents listening to Kenny G “love songs” all alone…Maybe they were just dancing…yeah right!?! This is only one of many stories about how my parents have traumatized me over the years. However, as I get older I realized these are good things to be traumatized by. I never doubted my parents love for one another, even when they argued. Their love for one another taught me so much and still is teaching me.

How can you traumatize those around you for positive things?

-Talk kindly about your spouse, your friends, your family, your kids. Tell a funny story about you and ______ even it is embarrassing. It makes you genuine and relatable!

-Don’t be scared to be affectionate to your kids, even when they are teens and adults. Teens may act like they hate you kissing them on the check in the car rider line at school but they honestly feel loved and appreciated when you do. Don’t be afraid to talk to your children about your dating or other life experiences and how you learned from them. Love them the proper way so they’ll know what to look for and what to avoid. Don’t just fuss at them…show them.

-Don’t be afraid to share your failures with others and talk about how you’ve overcame those failures. Failure is a part of the process, is is not who you are!

-Forgive even when it isn’t merited. Forgiveness doesn’t right a wrong, it just releases you from bitterness.

Proverbs 12: 6 is my words states that the words of good people can save the wicked. God’s words of wisdom spoken thru us can help those around us!

Have a great week,

Natalie

Unknown