Category: divine

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Have you ever felt awkward at a wake/funeral?

I recently attend a wake for someone that I didn’t have a relationship with, but I went out of respect for someone I love deeply. Sometimes, it is nice to support someone even if you don’t support the people they are related to…

Here’s how I dealt with the awkwardness:

-I looked for humorous things people have in common. I noticed that a local cigarette manufacturer was likely financed by many people in this family. There were oxygen tanks, tracheotomies, and all kinds of smoke related wrinkles at this wake.

-I realized certain types of rebels are worse than others. It’s ok to be a rebel sometimes. Some people think certain hair styles should stay around forever. I guess these people are hair rebels! I’d rather you be this type of rebel than other types..

–Joke with your mother about her outfit. If she has a pocket, put a snot rag or other inappropriate object in her pocket for a nice surprise later.

–Enjoy the weird funeral home furniture. I have a family member who works in a funeral home now and sometimes this person takes hand-me-down furniture home… couches only not coffins, yet. I still wonder though why a funeral home had a sleeper sofa…?

–Giggle at strange conversations. A family member for some reason thought telling my spouse about the joys of pot smoking during this wake was a good idea. While some of you reading this may think pot smoking is ok for recreational or medicinal use, this person would probably not be a poster child for your cause.

–Investing in your children is worth it! You can’t change who brought you into the world or who raised you, but you can change from your generation on… Thankfully, my father invested in his children things like unconditional love, grace, work ethic, healthy habits like not smoking, how serving others is a joy, and most importantly the love of God. He can’t change his past but he has made a great family investing in his children. Continue to pray for your crazy family members but give it to God and invest your time in your future, your children.

Relationships are tough sometimes. I have read this quote before I think in the book, The Shack, that “most of our hurts come from relationships but so does our healing”. Some people will hurt you in life, but others will help you to heal. If you haven’t found those who can help you heal, keep searching for a great therapist, good friends, and adopt a family if yours is crazy. I adopt family wherever I go. I have wonderful parents, but I’ve also adopted some extra ones from work and church. They would probably agree that I need a village…

Love you all,

Natalie

 

 

 

 

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christian counseling counseling divine encouragement humor inspiration inspirational mental health positive thinking snow day snow day tips Uncategorized what not to do

5 things not to do during a snow/ice day

Since most of of us on the east coast are snowed/iced in, I thought I offer up some tips on what not to do. We have plenty of tips available online for what to do, so here are some humorous thoughts for what not to do…(with the help of my husband…)

1-Do not try to heat your home with your outdoor grill. The fireman in your area will have a much more difficult time trying to get to you when you burn your house down. Instead warm your heart and soul with your family. Tell funny stories to your kids about your childhood. Play some of your favorite childhood games with your kids. Snuggle up on the couch together to keep warm instead.

2-Do not eat yellow snow.  I watched the cutest video of a friend’s daughter this morning licking her window in an attempt to experience the snow from inside. By all means, go outside, find some clean, white snow and make some yummy snow cream. Just remember that yellow snow does not make lemon flavored snow cream.

3-Don’t feed your addiction to the internet. It is ok to read a good blog…check your social media once a day, order a birthday gift, or look up an interesting fact or two. Just don’t stay online all day because you feel stuck inside. Be creative, do something different. Make something, draw, color with your family, etc. Earlier, I was studying the 10 plagues of Egypt and I learned that as God was using these plagues to get Pharoah’s attention, he was also confronting their false gods (i.e the nile was a god to them, they had a fertility goddess with a frog head, etc). It made me wonder what plagues God would put on us today if he wanted to confront the things we worship instead of him. I kind of feel like he’d put a plague on the Internet…

4-Don’t speed. I’m all about venturing out, but don’t be stupid. If you are normally not a great driver, don’t have much experience driving on icy roads, or people who love you are advising you not to drive, just stay inside or be a passenger. However, never be afraid to venture out even if you don’t leave the driveway or parking lot.  Explore God’s beauty.

5-Don’t make a snow day schedule. Enjoy the down time and rest. God created rest. We just don’t often enjoy his creation of rest. We need it, our bodies require it. So take a nap, stay in your pjs a little bit longer (although the people around you would appreciate you brushing your teeth at some point) and enjoy this gift of time to rest.

Enjoying God’s gift of snow today,

Natalie 🙂

 

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christian counseling christmas counseling divine encouragement humor inspiration inspirational mental health positive thinking reedeming love Uncategorized

Tis the season to be…

Merry or overwhelmed? Natalie is the name my parents gave to me and although I don’t think they looked into the meaning of it when they named me it actually fits in some ways. Natalie means “Christmas child”. I have always loved Christmas. I love the lights, the displays, the food, the music (specifically Mariah Carey’s Christmas album, it’s the best, don’t argue with me) and one of my all time favorite movies is Christmas Vacation. However, the older I get the more I am beginning to hate what this time of year has become.

Here’s a look at some interesting and sad things I’ve read recently about Christmas:

-Americans spend about $900 on Christmas (gifts, food, cards, decor, etc) on average person. So if you are a couple you spend about 1800 on christmas and a family of four spends $2800.

-Americans on average spend about $2900 per year to charities.Yes some spend this on Christmas alone…

-Americans billions a year just on wrapping paper.

-The “holiday blues” is a term…

-Many families dispute and have drama during the holidays.

-Many kids are brats and are showered with more than they know what to do with because some adults in their lives think they deserve every toy in the store.

Sadly, the list goes on…

However, if you look at the history of celebrations during this time of year, so of the end of year celebrations including yule logs (“I mean I don’t have a log”-chevy chase from the movie.lol), special trees, big meals, etc. actually begin before Christ was born. Some how the craziness of this year has infiltrated even the precious birth of Jesus. Christmas wasn’t a national holiday when the pilgrims came because they didn’t want to carry on the pagan traditions of they former countries. So how in the world did we get here…well it is truly an evolution of stories, traditions, etc.  some good, some bad.

My challenge for you this season is to stop and think:

-Am I truly giving out of love for others or is it about me looking good and/or seeking approval?

-Is there a family member I need to forgive just like Jesus came to forgive us of our sins? Or is my personal agenda more important than a true apology (as my friend Jason recently reminded me).

-Are we being compassionate instead of bitter at those who’ve hurt us during this time? (again a reminder from Jason) Even if you are mad at God for losing a loved one this year…have you considered that you aren’t alone and others around you may be hurting too. Have you considered being compassionate to one of those individuals?

-Are there things I need to give up during this time in order to slow down and reflect during this time?

-Am I thinking about the greatest gift of all with each gift I give?

If you are a Christian, stop and consider how others may be watching you during this season. Are you sharing the love of Jesus in this season or are you overwhelmed and sharing a bad attitude b/c of all the other stuff?

Love you all and Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends!

Natalie

 

 

 

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Keeping your mouth shut…

Anyone who knows me, knows this is a struggle for me. It is an area in my life that I constantly have to work on. We all have at least one of these types of struggles… There are times when I think I’m doing better and learning and using my words for good, then I fall flat on my face and realize I still need to be humble in this area and need God’s help..

Yesterday I gave my sister a pretty big piece of my mind. She didn’t exactly ask for it, but when she called it was on! Of course in my mind, I was expressing helpful, honest thoughts that she obviously hadn’t thought about before. The problem is it wasn’t the right time nor was I in the right frame of mind to consider whether or not she was asking for my thoughts so it wasn’t pretty.

I’m a teacher, counselor, mother, etc. and people often ask my opinion. I’ve learned but am still learning that we must have boundaries even in the areas of giftedness in our lives. I also need to be sensitive as to what role I need to play in a situation and to learn whether or not an opinion is warranted.

Maybe your struggle isn’t your mouth. Whatever it is, I love how Priscilla Shirer encourages us, “When we live within the boundaries that God’s spirit impresses upon us, the things we do have will be accompanied by a divine nod of approval that will multiply their usefulness and our enjoyment of them.”

You see over the years, my sister has at times asked my opinion and I think often values it, which if you knew us is saying a lot, but yesterday I didn’t live within God’s boundaries and I didn’t wait for his divine nod of approval for me to share thoughts/concerns with her; therefore, it resulted in a fight.

The good news is, we can fight and get over it fast which we are less than 24 hours later. We are all a work in progress. This week, think about your strengths and think about proper boundaries you should should place around those so that you’ll use them in just the right times and places.

Thankful for forgiveness,

Natalie 🙂

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50 shades of what?

Oh the women who’ve asked their friends this question over the past several years…Some have read it gladly, some have read it secretly, some haven’t read it because of guilt of who would find out, some haven’t read it for other personal reasons. Let me start out by saying we shouldn’t judge others and put ourselves on a pedestal for having read or not having read anything. This is not a judgmental blog, simply one I hope you think about…

The book 50 Shades of Grey, the book by EL James is widely popular. I agree with authors Stattery and Gresh of their book Pulling back the shades that the  “50 shaded” book addresses the needs of women to:

  • to be cherished by a man
  • to be protected by a strong man
  • to rescue a man
  • to be sexually alive
  • to escape reality

All little girls need to be cherished by a father, protected by a father, and then I think they grow up wanting the same things. Being nurturers by nature, we also want to rescue at times. God made us sexual beings and in the right context, it truly can be experienced as His gift to us. We also at times want and need to escape reality. However, outside of God’s plan and help many women seek to fulfill these longings in the wrong places. Our longings that God created will never be fulfilled out of his will and ways. Only when addressed according to God’s standards, do I believe these longings can truthfully be addressed.

The statistics on sexual abuse and violence are extremely horrifying. I do not agree with the “50 shades” book showing that the way to heal from being taking advantage of is to ask someone else if they’d willing let you take advantage of him/her. It definitely romanticizes many things about sex. One sad truth told is that if you don’t properly deal with your pain, you will transfer it to others, mostly likely the ones you love the most. God intended sex for wonderful things as a gift to married people. However, sadly the devil has perverted this wonderful gift in many disturbing ways and so many people are hurt, devastated and traumatized. But, I believe individuals don’t have to be forever damaged by these acts. I believe with God’s help, intensive counseling, and loving friends/family healing is possible.

Positive ways to be cherished, loved, and protected can be found in God. Read the Psalms and, let him love you. Let him protect you and He cherished you already more than you know. Let Him love you thru allowing others to help you. Look at all of the goods things in your life, James 1:7 says these are all from God. Realize how much you are cherished and protected by focusing on the good in your life. If you are married, be sexually alive with your spouse. God didn’t just intend sex for us to reproduce or else the Song of Songs wouldn’t be in the Bible…If it is difficult for you to enjoy sex in your marriage, get counseling! Lastly, if you need a way to escape reality, try reading Redeming Love by Francine Rivers or Divine by Karen Kingsbury or simply get out into nature and enjoy creation!

Have a great week and God Bless,

Natalie 🙂