christian counseling counseling humor inspiration mental health Uncategorized

Traumatized by Kenny G…

For the younger readers..maybe I have one…:), the name Kenny G may not ring a bell to you. He is a talented musician and was popular in the 90s during my dating years. Of course, he was more popular with the adults than the teens…

Disclaimer: I do not apologize for sharing this story to benefit others even if it embarrasses my parents b/c they embarrassed me.. 🙂 I am not perfect, God is still working on me…I’m sure my kids will pay me back one day too..

It all began with me having a bad date with a guy who will remain nameless. He is probably the only one of my friends or acquaintances who doesn’t know this story..:) and may never know it… I wasn’t really that interested in him at the time which was really the only reason it wasn’t a great date. Anyways, I came into my home around 9pm and the lights were out all over the house. Still to this day, I do not know where my other two sisters were…one was 8 at the time, so she should have been home…maybe she was at a sleepover. At any rate, I walked to the back of the house where all of the bedrooms were and I hear Kenny G music playing from the parental bedroom…I banged on their door, said the music was too loud and hibernated in my room until I was 20…just kidding it was only until the next morning.

As you can imagine, this was traumatizing… the thought of my parents listening to Kenny G “love songs” all alone…Maybe they were just dancing…yeah right!?! This is only one of many stories about how my parents have traumatized me over the years. However, as I get older I realized these are good things to be traumatized by. I never doubted my parents love for one another, even when they argued. Their love for one another taught me so much and still is teaching me.

How can you traumatize those around you for positive things?

-Talk kindly about your spouse, your friends, your family, your kids. Tell a funny story about you and ______ even it is embarrassing. It makes you genuine and relatable!

-Don’t be scared to be affectionate to your kids, even when they are teens and adults. Teens may act like they hate you kissing them on the check in the car rider line at school but they honestly feel loved and appreciated when you do. Don’t be afraid to talk to your children about your dating or other life experiences and how you learned from them. Love them the proper way so they’ll know what to look for and what to avoid. Don’t just fuss at them…show them.

-Don’t be afraid to share your failures with others and talk about how you’ve overcame those failures. Failure is a part of the process, is is not who you are!

-Forgive even when it isn’t merited. Forgiveness doesn’t right a wrong, it just releases you from bitterness.

Proverbs 12: 6 is my words states that the words of good people can save the wicked. God’s words of wisdom spoken thru us can help those around us!

Have a great week,



humor mental health Uncategorized

Fighting isn’t always bad…

My niece loves to hear the story of the time I destroyed my sister’s and my Barbie doll house…Seriously, she asks to hear it several times a year for some reason. Being a middle child of two girls is tough but anyone with siblings, I’m sure can relate to this story… My sister and I shared a room and shared a Barbie doll house. One night, we were fighting about something (isn’t it funny how most people don’t even remember what they fight about?) and I was going to tell mom and dad! She pulled my pj’s which were purple and white flowered pj’s handed down to me 🙂 and she let go suddenly. When she did, I fell and demolished one level a time of the three level Barbie doll house setup in our room. It is much funnier now than when our parents came in after they heard the crash…

Many siblings fight even into adulthood, sadly enough. Many families in general fight. I’ve heard of the most idiotic reasons too why mothers or fathers aren’t speaking to a child or why a sister isn’t speaking to a brother, etc.. Mostly it’s over someone’s pride. He didn’t get what he deserved, she was always the favorite, he married outside of his race, she went to college, blah, blah, etc, etc…The truth is no one is perfect. None of us deserve anything honestly b/c we aren’t perfect. Personally, I think God is the only perfect one around and He gets to decide what happens ultimately because He is perfect and worthy to make such calls.

Perspective is very powerful. Imagine if we all had the mindset daily of the following:

-Every good thing we have is a blessing and undeserved

-Ending relationships with family and friends isn’t an option.

Just having the mindset of those two perspectives can drastically change people. If we believe everything is a blessing, wouldn’t we take care of our things, appreciate our health, jobs. etc.. much more instead of complaining and whining about what we deserve? If ending relationships with family and friends wasn’t an option, how much harder would we fight for one another, to get along, to get over stuff, to forgive?

Fight for good! Appreciate everything you have! Fight for your family even if you don’t always agree or like them.

Simple Ways to Fight:

-Fight to communicate regularly with your spouse

-Fight against busyness and peer pressure and spend time with your teenage children

-Fight for a worthy cause in your community by volunteering

There are so many other ways to fight for good…

Lastly, I want to say thank you to the Veteran’s in our armed forces in America for fighting for our freedoms!

humor mental health Uncategorized

Oh Happy Day is not a good song choice for a funeral

Humorous moments often happen by accident in my family…My maternal grandfather was a Baptist minister turned alcoholic. He left my grandmother and six kids way before I was ever thought of by my mother and father. God knew I was coming eventually, but they didn’t at that time. 🙂  Part of me is sad I didn’t know him and the other part is glad. I do remember however when he was on his death bed. My mom and her sisters went to visit him, offered him help from addiction, etc. It was a sad ending because he never gave up drinking even after receiving unsolicited forgiveness from his children. The funny part is for some reason my mom and aunts thought they should sing a song when he was ill in the hospital. Amazing Grace would have been appropriate since they were mirroring God’s grace at this time, but NO…they chose “Oh Happy Day”, which later on we all thought was hilarious. They didn’t mean anything funny by it at the time but that was one of those accidental humorous moments in my family.

I’m not going to give a list of ways people can cope with grief today. I’m simply going to say that in my life, I’ve noticed people grieving in a variety of ways. It is helpful for us all not to judge anyone who is grieving.

Some people get stuck and don’t move on, don’t go out of the house, etc. for a while. Some people move away, move on, or run period, etc. Some combine staying still for a while and then running, etc. Some are forced to seek survival, some seek therapy, some seek drugs, etc.

I’m a complete dork and I love PBS. While watching a PBS special the other night on the Roosevelt family, I learned that Theodore Roosevelt lost his mother and wife on the time day within a four hour period. His wife had just given birth to their first child four days earlier. When he heard the news, he came home, ask his sister to take care of his daughter, and he ran to the West. He couldn’t even speak their names. Many people judged him but he grieved the way he needed to and survived the grief in the end and was able to raise his daughter in the end and got remarried. Many people judged him I’m sure.

People who are grieving don’t need judgmental family members and friends, they need supportive ones even if we don’t understand their choices.

Have an Oh Happy Day,


humor mental health

USA (United States of Anxiety)



Did You Know?

  • Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population).
  • Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only about one-third of those suffering receive treatment.
  • Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.

Anxiety and Depression

It’s not uncommon for someone with an anxiety disorder to also suffer from depression or vice versa. Nearly one-half of those diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

Anxiety related disorders:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Panic Disorder :panic attacks, etc.

Social Anxiety Disorder: kids who don’t simply hate going to school, it is much more than that…

Specific Phobias: fear of crowds, fear of going outside, etc.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): not just washing hands 50 times a day, others things also.

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):  Veterans are not the only sufferers, victims of abuse also may suffer, etc.

Major Depressive Disorder

*Info from American Association of Anxiety Disorders

As you can see this is a major problem. If you or someone you love is suffering from anxiety, get help by:

-Going to see a doctor

-Consider seeing a therapist/counselor

-Enlist a support system (positive friends, family members, church group, support groups, etc.) find people who can make you laugh and enjoy you for who you are.



humor mental health

Fear and boobs: version 2.0

What are your biggest fears? They are likely not the same as they were when you were a child. When I was a little girl, my wonderful parents (who still haven’t read my blog, I will use that in a blog on humility vs. narcism later on… 🙂 )… let me watch a show where a bear broke in a cabin of a family and harmed the family. As a result, I had nightmares about bears for a long time after that episode. I overcame this fear by going camping with a friend b/c I loved her and her family. As a teenager, I was afraid of cobras (I realize this is not a popular snake in NC, but it was still scary to me). I overcame this fear by being thrown off of a golf cart on the wrong side of a lake at a church youth camp. Good times, and lots of laughs in the end.

Facing fears often has a way of alleviating anxiety whether you do so by imagining a certain event happening and planning for worst case scenario or whether you actually face the fear. Probably the biggest fear I’ve faced wasn’t one I realized I had until it happened. Last year, I found a lump in my breast that my OBGYN was concerned about. Over a period of a month and 1/2 I was poked at, prodded at, and felt up more than I was during my dating years…(If my parents do read this, I promise it wasn’t that much…) I wasn’t afraid of cancer and dying. I was afraid of leaving my children because they are so young. They have a wonderful father, but I didn’t want them to grow up without a mother.

New Image is me and my mom from this year’s conference with TC Stallings from the movie the War Room. I highly recommend it.

New addition to this story: for those who know me, they also likely know the story that goes with my breast lump scare…I was at a conference for christian counselors (2013) and I was crying during one of the speakers who was speaking about his wife dying of breast cancer. Often times, we think the worst when we get bad news…After the speaker, a lady came up to me noticing my ugly swollen cry face and asked if she could pray with me. “Of course!” I said and told her what was going on, so as we bowed our heads and prayed she also put her hand on my breast to pray for my boob…Of course since I’m normally very silly, my tears turned into an inner giggle. I’m not opposed to people laying their hands on one another and praying together, but I don’t recommend a private body part. My mom said, thank God you didn’t have a cervical cancer scare. LOL. God loves me and knows I need this humorous moment. I know that lady didn’t mean anything but to be helpful, however, it was awkward and funny to me but God answered her prayers and am healthy!

This is a scary thing as a mother, but I had to face it in theory. Thankfully, everything checked out ok and apparently I just have weird lumpy boobs. Too bad the lumps aren’t bigger…:) just kidding.

Here are a few healthy ways I’ve found to deal with fears:

-Prepare yourself for worst case scenario but live like the best case has happened. For example, If you fear death and leaving a family behind, have a will, life insurance policy, family/friends who are willing to help with your children. Live today and have fun with those around you.

-Think like a statistician: I’ve heard it said that 90% of things you worry about never come true.

-Transition your thoughts: Start thinking about others more than yourself. Does a neighbor need help with a home project? Can you volunteer somewhere? Get busy doing for others and you’ll be amazed how much you don’t even have time to sit and worry about your own fears.

-Treat everyday as if it were the last in some ways: don’t call in sick and go bungee jumping but tell your family you love them, be kind to everyone, stop complaining, forgive others and/or ask for forgiveness.

-Lastly, for me personally, my belief in God encourages me by verses such as “Do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you.”(1Chron 28:20) “Be strong and courageous…” (Deut 31:6)

Have a great week!