Categories
active listening anger management Anxiety boundaries change of heart christian counseling Christian counseling christmas COVID 19 tips for helping others dating Depression divine encouragement generosity goals Grief happiness how to tell a good story humor inspiration inspirational mental health military Overcome evil with Good parenting reading reedeming love running what not to do

Podcast Episode 3: How you start isn’t always how you finish

Don’t miss our funny and encouraging stories along with an interview with former child actress from One Tree Hill, Grace Holcomb! Review and subscribe today. Share you thoughts!

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1378717/5798839

Categories
christian counseling

Episode 3: One Sweet Day, an talk about grief

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1378717/5716885

Subscribe, Review, and Share:)

Categories
christian counseling

Podcast episode 2

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1378717/5716885

Categories
christian counseling

New podcast NOW available

Tune in to my new podcast with my friend Candice today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or other podcasts platforms. Candice and I use funny stories and song lyrics to encourage listeners in the midst of a crazy world!

Title: Miss Congeniality and the 3rd runner up

Subscribe, like and review today!

Dr. Atwell

Categories
christian counseling

Practical ways to seek unity with others

Terms like reconciliation and unity have seemingly been a part of the vocabulary and conversations of many over the past several months. During this time, we’ve all likely experienced a variety of emotions including anger, hurt, confusion, excitement for change, etc. Recently, I’ve been challenged to consider what “walking in unity” means as I read Psalm 133: 1 says, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!”

First of all, walking is a verb as dwell is a verb. Therefore, the question we should ask ourselves is, how are we walking or dwelling in unity with others? Are we seeking relationship with those who are different from us? Are we actively taking steps to learn about people who are different from us? Are we stepping out of our comfort zone to meet new people and befriend others?

Over the years as a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor who is also a board certified professional christian counselor, I have counseled many who have been hurt by people who are different from them. These differences span from racial differences, cultural differences, family differences, differences in opinion, religious differences, differences within one’s own church, political differences, and a new one this year differences in responding to the COVID-19 (or the CORID as my mom calls it). Differences in the past that have led to behaviors that have cause hurt often lead people to shy away from getting to know others in a new setting.

Therefore, I want to recommend some tips for how we can seek unity and dwell in unity in ways that can help overcome hurt.

1-Get out of your comfort zone and initiate a conversation with someone different.

2-Invite your neighbor, co-worker, or family member, etc. who is different from you (race, religion, political beliefs, career/job, etc) out to lunch and get to know the person. Ask what they believe and why.

3-Change up your routines. Don’t sit in a same spot all the time. Don’t sit in the same section at church all of the time. Don’t just speak to the same people each week. Send a card to someone new or to an old friend. Walk down a different hallway at church. Take a different route on a daily walk.

4-Attend church or another cultural event with someone different from you and invite that person with you as well.

5-Volunteer with a local non-profit or even the local police or fire department to learn more about the people serving out community.

Finally consider memorizing 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 where Paul instructs us how our love for others should look as we seek unity.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

If we have this loving attitude and perspective, others will be drawn to the unity we have with God.

Have a great week,

Dr. Atwell

Categories
christian counseling

My youngest wanted to do a podcast with me…

Maddox and Natalie’s first podcast!

It’s only about 5 minutes and a little rocky for our first one, but entertaining nonetheless (hopefully).

Categories
affairs anger management Anxiety beatitudes belonging boundaries change of heart christian counseling compassion international counseling COVID 19 tips for helping others Depression encouragement generosity goals Grief happiness how to tell a good story humor inspiration inspirational mental health No regrets Overcome evil with Good parenting Proverbs 31 lady reading reedeming love what not to do

What makes a good story?

According to the American press institute, “A good story is about something the audience decides is interesting or important. ” As an avid reader, I love a good story. One I read recently was The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris, who tells the love story of two Holocaust survivors. I highly recommend reading it! As the reader, I felt it was a good story because it was based on true events and real people. Hearing amazing stories of survival and hope are arguably why I love my job as a counselor. Not only do I get to hear amazing stories, but I somewhat get to be a small part of the resolve of tension for those who trust me with their stories or at least I am privileged to be one whom individuals seek to help process their stories.

Some suggest a good story contains elements such as conflict, tension, surprise, love, mystery, interesting characters, noble behaviors, evil behaviors, suspense, laughter, frustration, and the list goes on. It is much easier to read a story that has all of these elements, but as we live out our individual stories, the elements of a good story are much harder to experience personally. We don’t love experiencing conflict. Tension cause headaches among many other things. Surprise can be fun, but can also be scary. Love, well….that word is loaded with all types of emotions and meanings. People love seeing good overcome evil in stories, yet the rarely want to be the ones in real life who have the enormous task of overcoming evil.

How interesting is your life? How good is your story? Have you allowed conflict, surprise, tension, love, evil, suspense, laughter, frustration, and noble behavior help God to create a strikingly interesting story of your life? Or have you settled for a boring, complacent, comfortable, and uninteresting story? Further, have you hidden your magnificent story below your hurt and pain in an attempt to mask your pain? (If so, seek a good counselor who can help your process the pain).

Personally, I believe every person’s life at some level is an amazing story or has the potential to be one. Even greater I believe every person has the opportunity to be a part the greatest story ever, HIStory! God’s story! He created us. He gave us free will to make choices that bring about all the elements of a good story as mentioned earlier. Most importantly, God has and is redeeming all of the stories for those who choose Him. Have you allowed God to redeem your story? Are you allowing him to use you to help others in their stories? Finally, don’t avoid the wonderful elements that God is using in your story to bring about good. Embrace conflict, frustrations, setbacks. Fight evil, seek laughter, and choose to have noble behavior. As you do, sit back and enjoy the journey of being a part of an amazing story!

Here is a very simple example of how God used the craziness of the COVID-19 in my story this year. He encouraged me to volunteer with Meals on Wheels and I truly love it. Once a week, I take time out of my busy schedule to deliver food and enjoy the smiles of some precious people no doubt with amazing stories!

Enjoying HIS story-making,

Dr. Atwell

 

Categories
abortion active listening anger management Anxiety back to school supplies beatitudes belonging boundaries change of heart christian counseling Christian counseling compassion international counseling COVID 19 tips for helping others dating Depression encouragement generosity Grief happiness humor inspiration inspirational Make your bed marathon marriage masks mental health military No regrets Overcome evil with Good parenting positive thinking Proverbs 31 lady ptsd reedeming love running sexual abuse

Masks and hope

Considering I’m a super nerd (self-described), I looked up the history of masks since the debate is a heated one these days in the great United States of America. According to Christos Lynteris, an expert in medical mask history at the University of St. Andrews (can you imagine growing up to become a mask historian~interesting), we can find clues about the history of masks in paintings as old at 1720 of the bubonic plague. The “masks” here were thought to protect against illness but in reality they likely only helped people deal with the smells of illness. Over time, masks developed as people learned more about sickness, viruses, and disease. Masks were used by surgeons in the late 1800s as a means to prevent droplets when/if a surgeon coughed or sneezed.

Growing up in the 80s, I remember my dad having a handkerchief in church that he carried in his suit pocket. He used it to cover his mouth, how appropriate. I carry tissues in my car/purse for the same purpose. Sure cough and sneeze droplets are gross, but mostly I’ve always believed it was just respectful to use a tissue or hanky.

Today, however, wow masks are a huge sign of many different things. They are signs of the time for sure: COVID-19, politics, fear, respect, stupidity (I do think it is silly to wear one in your car or home all alone), common sense, homemade projects, medical professionals, not something kids can handle, and the list goes on depending on who you ask.

Regardless, today my message is to encourage you to consider what you are putting your hope in today. I’ve read and heard numerous local and national leaders state that if everyone wore masks all the time, the virus could be gone in no time. Therefore, I think many people have a lot of hope in wearing masks. I am not here to tell you my stance, advise you one way or another about mask wearing, etc. However, I am here today to encourage you NOT to put your hope in anything other than God.

Psalm 118:8-9 It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humanity (or the products of humanity, such as masks).

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in nobles (or leaders/politicians).

Because…

If you put your hope in money, you could still find yourself struggling with relationships.

If you put your hope in a sports team, you will be extremely let down if they have a losing year or can’t play (this year!).

If you put your hope in a politician, you will find that he/she can’t keep all of their promises and are the savior of our nation. Many focus on the president but neglect to research the power and impact of their own local leaders none of which are perfect.

If you put your hope in a celebrity (seriously why do people care what celebrities think?..ok I’ll try not to be judgmental and of course yes I’ll read a random article once in a while about one), you will be let down when they go off the deep end or divorce (like Nicky Lacey and Jessica Simpson..I’ll get over it one day, j/k).

If you put your hope in humanity, you will be let down as soon as someone pulls out in front of you or posts something stupid online.

Finally, if you put your hope in a mask, you will be let down when you see someone not wearing one or worse if you wear one and still get sick, you will be let down.

Therefore, set your minds on things above, not on earthly things (Colossians 3:2). Place your hope in God. He is the Great Physician, the Healer, the Savior, one whom we can have an amazing relationship with who will never leave us, is so famous he is timeless, is the giver and taker of wealth and all things, etc.

Set your mind on things above by:

-Waking up and saying every morning: This is the day the Lord has made, I will be glad and rejoice in it. (It’s my mantra, find one for yourself!)

-Spend time in prayer/meditation, and Bible study each morning (coffee is a major part of this for me, let’s call it  a part of the devotion trinity: prayer journal, bible, coffee).

-Surround myself with Godly, positive, encouraging people who hold me accountable and challenge me. Church is a great place to start (even though they are filled with imperfect people).

-Laugh every day. Life is too short.

-Ask God to show you when you are putting your hope in something other than God.

-Break your addiction to comfort. Growth happens outside of your comfort zone (which is often the thing you are putting your hope in more than God).

He alone is our Hope. Our hope for the redemption of the past, hope for the present day to be great or to survive it, and hope the future of Earth when he makes it new one day!

Praying you place your hope in Jesus today,

Dr. Atwell

PS: I had to sit at a local tire shop recently because my tires were completely worn to the point that my indicators were continually showing low air after I filled them…(Maybe I was putting too much hope in worn down tires)…and I noticed this older lady (without a mask) sitting in the lobby (socially distant) with a shirt on that said HOPE and was an acronym. The funny thing is she cursed like a sailor, it was the weirdest scene. I couldn’t help but think we may look like that to God when we look like to everyone else that we are putting our hope in Him meanwhile cursing Him like a sailor as we put our hope in things that will pass away…

 

 

 

Categories
active listening anger management Anxiety atheists beatitudes belonging boundaries christian counseling Christian counseling christmas compassion international counseling COVID 19 tips for helping others dating Depression divine encouragement father's day fathers generosity goals Grief happiness humor identity crisis inspiration inspirational Love Life Charlotte Make your bed marathon marriage mental health Overcome evil with Good parenting positive politics positive thinking Proverbs 31 lady ptsd reading reedeming love sexual abuse sexual violence technology Uncategorized what not to do

Did you know that the word ‘listen’ and the word ‘silent’ have the same letters?

The question of course is more rhetorical, but as 2020 has created a situation in which many people in the world are using technology more than ever before to connect with one another, work, be educated, vent frustrations, be entertained, etc, I’m afraid we aren’t getting better at truly listening during these times. Many are simply putting their opinions out there (because it is easy to post opinions) and not listening to others. As I sit in my office and do Telehealth or in-person sessions and listen to people discuss the stress of the times, I’ve learned we simply don’t value the opportunity to listen as much as we should. Honestly, it is probably the most important skill in the field of counseling. It is arguably one of the most important skills in life.

Are you good at it? What do others think about your listening skills? Are you listening to understand or simply to reply? Do you want people to hear your point of view more than you want to listen to and understand theirs?

People have been asking a lot of questions lately such as:

-Does it truly help to wear a mask?

-Why are we still dealing with racism?

-Why are some police officers allowed to get away with crimes?

-What can we do to reform police departments, government, etc?

-What is the point of the protest?

-Are we going have to homeschool or virtual school our kids next year?

-Why can’t gyms open?

-Why are some churches comfortable opening and others aren’t?

-Why do teens love Tik Tok?

As I consider some of these questions, I can hear my own answers to them almost automatically in my head…(which are based on my own experiences, beliefs, values, etc.)  As a therapist, I have to listen to and help others who often don’t believe what I believe spiritually, politically, economically, etc. and I have to be objective because it is my job. It is not easy and requires me to do a lot of reflection and at times has required my own counseling with another therapist, but the things I’ve learned from listening to those who are different from me are priceless. As a trained therapist, I do much more than listen, but listening is invaluable in my field.

The good news is, you don’t have to be a trained therapist to be a good listener.

The challenge I present you with today is to try and listen and not quickly go to the response in your own head. Really seek to hear someone today. Seek to understand the other person’s point of view, position, experience, etc. Ask someone, maybe who you don’t like, or who you know has a different political view than yours, someone of another race, etc. something today. However, don’t respond, just listen and try to understand. Practice helps in the area of listen. Trust me, I’m still working on this too!

Want to make a difference in the world today? Try listening to others more than you speak, and see what happens…

Show you care for others by listening this week and be blessed,

Dr. Atwell

Here is some biblical encouragement for listening…

James 1:19 “..Be slow to speak and quick to listen.”

Proverbs 18:13, “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”

Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

Proverbs 2:2 “Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding.”

Proverbs 21:23 “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”

Philippians 2:4, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”

 

Matthew 11:14, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

Categories
active listening anger management Anxiety back to school supplies boundaries change of heart christian counseling Christian counseling counseling COVID 19 tips for helping others Depression divine encouragement generosity goals Grief happiness humor inspiration inspirational marathon marriage mental health Overcome evil with Good parenting positive politics positive thinking

A Live chat about anxiety during a pandemic with my pastor :).