This is a question many have asked me over the years and honestly one I’ve pondered personally at times. The reality is, the more you engage in relationships with people, the more likely you are to experience some type of hurt.
While there are many reasons people hurt others, the majority of the hurts can be categorized in the following:
-Selfishness/pride: People are increasingly self-centered and sadly do not reflect on how their actions, attitudes, and dispositions impact those around them.
-Ignorance: At times, people do not realize they are being hurtful. People are often unaware of cultural biases, racial biases, lack self-awareness, or simply have no idea how to lovingly interact with people who’ve experienced trauma or who are simply going through a hard time.
-Difference of beliefs/values: Some people justify their hurtful behaviors by stating a difference in beliefs or thinking they are helping when in actuality they are hurting someone.
-“Hurt people, hurt people” is a saying that often makes sense even if it shouldn’t be and acceptable behavior. People who are hurt and who don’t effectively deal with their hurt typically hurt others (unknowingly or knowingly).
Often the first step in finding healing is seeking to understand. I hope this post helps you a little on this journey. At the end of the day, I hope you don’t follow the meme I ready recently, “Now that I’m healed, I don’t like people.” We have the tendency after being hurt to avoid others, but when we put walls up, we are also putting walls up to those who can help us heal. As our hurt often comes from relationships, so does our healing.
So, focus on what you can control. Seek to be different and seek to help others heal by not being self-centered, ignorant, judgmental by the wrong standards, or deal with your own hurt so you don’t hurt others.
Remember, as Christians we also serve the one who was hurt so we could be healed…
Isaiah 53: 3-5
| “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.” |
Praying you find healing today,
Dr. Atwell