Tag: mental health

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I stabbed my husband with a butter knife

I realize that those of you who do not know me personally think I am completely nuts simply for reading the title of today’s blog. Well, you have made a good judgment. 🙂 I am not perfect and so thankful for God’s grace which the only way my husband can deal with me.

Speaking of nuts, I was making a peanut butter sandwich for my son one afternoon and was also tired from a long 6 mile run that morning when my husband decided to come up behind me and grab my calf in an attempt to scare me. First of all, men beware of a women with any type of kitchen utensil in her hand. My calf was sore and my reflexes were highly functioning so I jerked back and accidentally stabbed my husband in the arm with a butter knife. He actually still has the scar over a year later. Personally, I think he should have it tattooed on so he will be reminded to be treat me with caution. Amazingly enough, we are still married.

I started with this funny, true, story but unfortunately many spouses and family members are victims of real abuse everyday. Home should be your place of comfort, rest, enjoyment, and quality time with family. However, this isn’t the case for many families. Safehorizon.org reports that 60% of domestic violence incidents happen within the home.

If you are being abused:

-Get help by contacting a local shelter or at least by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1−800−799−7233 or visiting the website at http://www.thehotline.org

-Let others help you instead of thinking you are alone.

-Remember you are worthy of true love and respect which never includes violence from a partner.

Many of us also may not be victims, but we have friends or family members who are suffering and we want to help. Here are some tips:

-Be a friend and ask how you can help.

-Don’t offer to be everything to him or her, the person needs to decide to get help of his or her own. He or she may simply need a listening ear until they decide they are ready to leave or get outside help from authorities.

-Don’t be afraid to contact the authorities and let them handle situations instead of you trying to be in the middle which may result in you getting hurt too.

-You can find more specific tips online and are advised to do so.

God Bless,

Natalie

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Top Gun is one of my favorite movies…

Happy Friday friends,

I hope that you are preparing for a great weekend. Many people flock to the movie theaters on the weekends to catch the latest film. Some prefer a nicer theatre and some don’t mind the “dollar theatre” where their feet stick to the floor. Growing up, I remember loving the movie Top Gun, partly maybe because my dad has a mustache like the character Goose. Of course the other characters weren’t too bad to look at either and I loved the female star b/c my natural hair looks just like hers curly and goofy…which is not in style like it was then…As a good parent now, I force my children to listen to the Top Gun anthem every time we go across the bridge to the beach where we visit frequently…They like it now and are very talented at playing their air guitars and drums.

So why am I referencing movies today. Well most people love a good story, get swept away for a minute in a strange world on screen, and much more. Our world is full of gifted actors, actresses, directors, screen writers, musicians, artists, camera people, etc… it truly is amazing. However, in real life our stories don’t quite play out as they do in the movies. One of the things I like to encourage my clients to do when making major life choices is to try to “play the movie” in their minds. It is a technique described by Dr. Henry Cloud in the book “9 Simple steps to succeed in love and life”.

For example:

-You struggle with overeating: when you sit down to eat, play out in your mind how you will feel if you overindulge. will you feel miserable? Thinking about the scene ahead of time can be helpful in making a better choice and choosing a better ending.

-You are considering cheating: play the movie, how will this end?consider how this one thing will play out in your life. Play it out all the way to the end of your life and story.

-You are considering giving up on a career: How will this scene fit into your movie?

-You are an alcoholic, play the movie of what drinking has done to your life and if you continue drinking what it will do to you long term.

-You are struggling to save money, play the movie of how if you save a little now, how it’ll pay off years down the road.

-Sometimes it is helpful to play out good and bad potential scenarios to make sure we are in a position to handle what comes our way.

-Playing the movie technique is worth a try in all areas: Parenting, marriage, preparing for death even. Try it…

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humor mental health

Fear and boobs: version 2.0

What are your biggest fears? They are likely not the same as they were when you were a child. When I was a little girl, my wonderful parents (who still haven’t read my blog, I will use that in a blog on humility vs. narcism later on… 🙂 )… let me watch a show where a bear broke in a cabin of a family and harmed the family. As a result, I had nightmares about bears for a long time after that episode. I overcame this fear by going camping with a friend b/c I loved her and her family. As a teenager, I was afraid of cobras (I realize this is not a popular snake in NC, but it was still scary to me). I overcame this fear by being thrown off of a golf cart on the wrong side of a lake at a church youth camp. Good times, and lots of laughs in the end.

Facing fears often has a way of alleviating anxiety whether you do so by imagining a certain event happening and planning for worst case scenario or whether you actually face the fear. Probably the biggest fear I’ve faced wasn’t one I realized I had until it happened. Last year, I found a lump in my breast that my OBGYN was concerned about. Over a period of a month and 1/2 I was poked at, prodded at, and felt up more than I was during my dating years…(If my parents do read this, I promise it wasn’t that much…) I wasn’t afraid of cancer and dying. I was afraid of leaving my children because they are so young. They have a wonderful father, but I didn’t want them to grow up without a mother.

New Image is me and my mom from this year’s conference with TC Stallings from the movie the War Room. I highly recommend it.

New addition to this story: for those who know me, they also likely know the story that goes with my breast lump scare…I was at a conference for christian counselors (2013) and I was crying during one of the speakers who was speaking about his wife dying of breast cancer. Often times, we think the worst when we get bad news…After the speaker, a lady came up to me noticing my ugly swollen cry face and asked if she could pray with me. “Of course!” I said and told her what was going on, so as we bowed our heads and prayed she also put her hand on my breast to pray for my boob…Of course since I’m normally very silly, my tears turned into an inner giggle. I’m not opposed to people laying their hands on one another and praying together, but I don’t recommend a private body part. My mom said, thank God you didn’t have a cervical cancer scare. LOL. God loves me and knows I need this humorous moment. I know that lady didn’t mean anything but to be helpful, however, it was awkward and funny to me but God answered her prayers and am healthy!

This is a scary thing as a mother, but I had to face it in theory. Thankfully, everything checked out ok and apparently I just have weird lumpy boobs. Too bad the lumps aren’t bigger…:) just kidding.

Here are a few healthy ways I’ve found to deal with fears:

-Prepare yourself for worst case scenario but live like the best case has happened. For example, If you fear death and leaving a family behind, have a will, life insurance policy, family/friends who are willing to help with your children. Live today and have fun with those around you.

-Think like a statistician: I’ve heard it said that 90% of things you worry about never come true.

-Transition your thoughts: Start thinking about others more than yourself. Does a neighbor need help with a home project? Can you volunteer somewhere? Get busy doing for others and you’ll be amazed how much you don’t even have time to sit and worry about your own fears.

-Treat everyday as if it were the last in some ways: don’t call in sick and go bungee jumping but tell your family you love them, be kind to everyone, stop complaining, forgive others and/or ask for forgiveness.

-Lastly, for me personally, my belief in God encourages me by verses such as “Do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you.”(1Chron 28:20) “Be strong and courageous…” (Deut 31:6)

Have a great week!

Natalie