As I listened to the news headlines the other morning, I was shocked to hear that Playboy magazine is no longer featuring naked (we say naked in the south) women. I’m sure many the 13 year old boy side of many men is sad as are so aspiring women who hoped to get famous via this magazine. Honestly, I shouldn’t be shocked because on a regular basis I hear of teens, adults, etc. getting in trouble for viewing porn or other inappropriate images on their phones, computers, etc. People no longer have to pay for porn. Playboy didn’t have a change of heart, they had a change in their profits…
This is not a judgmental blog about pornography but I would like for you to consider the following statistics.
- Nearly 80 percent of unwanted exposure to pornography is taking place in the home (79 percent occurs in the home; 9 percent occurs at school; 7 percent other/unknown; 5 percent at a friend’s home). (www.internetsafety101.org)
- Youth who look at violent x-rated material are six times more likely to report forcing someone to do something sexual online or in-person versus youth not exposed to x-rated material.(www.internetsafety101.org)
- Internet pornography was blamed for a 20 percent increase in sexual attacks by children over three years.(www.internetsafety101.org)
- The fastest growing demand in commercial websites for child abuse is for images depicting the worst type of abuse, including penetrative sexual activity involving children and adults and sadism or penetration by an animal. 58% of child sexual abuse images depict this level of abuse. (IWF, 2008)
- Data from the PEW Internet and American Life Project suggest that 70% of 15-17 year old internet users accidently view pornography “very” or “Somewhat”often.
Dangers of Porn in couples:
- addiction, destruction of intimacy, decreased excitement and satisfaction, despair, warped thinking. *Addiction itself develops through progressively dangerous stages: addiction, escalation, desensitization, and then acting out sexually. The dangers of pornography are evident with every stage more destructive than the one before.(according to theintimatecouple.com)
- 56% of divorces involve one spouse’s continued use of Internet pornography
(Family Research Council, The Effects of Pornography, 2009)
Christians and Porn:
- According to pastors, the 8 top sexual issues damaging to their congregation are: 57% pornography addiction, 34% sexually active never-married adults, 30% adultery of married adults, 28% sexually active teenagers, 16% sexual dissatisfaction, 14% unwed pregnancy, 13% sexually active previously married adults, and 9% sexual abuse.
(More Sex, Please, Christianity Today International, Winter 2005)
- 50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography. (Market Wire. August 7, 2006. ChristiaNet.com. December 7, 2006http://www.marketwire.com/mw/r…e_html_b1?release_id=151336)
- 51% of pastors say cyberporn is a possible temptation. 37% say it is a current struggle (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, December 2001). 4 in 10 pastors have visited a porn site (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, December 2001).
The bottom line is Porn changes people negatively…Many studies have proven that it changes your brain function. A German study which found 3 significant addiction-related brain changes that correlated with the amount of porn consumed. It also found that the more porn consumed the less activity in the reward circuit, indicating desensitization, and increasing the need for greater stimulation (tolerance).Whether you want to believe it or not, the statistics and studies don’t lie. (www.yourbrainonporn.com). Also check out the youtube.com video “your brain on porn”.
Don’t take a chance for yourself or your family by trying to be the one who isn’t addicted…We are not strong enough in ourselves to fight certain evils of this world. Here are some thoughts to consider to protect yourself, your marriage, your children and your community from Focus on the Family.
Behavioral. Behavioral approaches attempt to prevent a scenario from developing in the first place. The house and grounds, for example, should be purged of all pornography. Media should be carefully screened for “triggers” that serve as gateways to acting-out. If the problem occurred with the Internet, a filter can be one of your strategies, although it can never replace parental supervision and involvement. Other common-sense approaches include moving the computer to the family room where others can easily view the screen, limiting the time on the computer so that no one is alone on the Internet, and developing a mission statement that directs the family’s the use of the computer and the Internet.
Cognitive. Pornography is propaganda and generates destructive myths about sexuality. Once exposed, it will be critically important that a comprehensive sex education gets underway, if it has not already been initiated. The child will need to learn what and how to think about sexuality. More than mere behaviors, parents will want to communicate the core values of sexuality, the multifaceted risks of sex outside of marriage, and their ongoing compassion for what it must be like to grow up in this culture.
Emotive. Sex is inherently emotional. Premarital sex has even been linked with codependency, where at least one person becomes compelled or addicted to be in relationship with another. The youth culture would lead you to believe that sex is not necessarily emotional for them – don’t you believe it. Sexual relations of any type bond the bodies, minds, and spirits of two individuals. At the conscious level, this attachment is largely emotional. Our children need to understand that emotional attachment is often involuntary, and especially when the relationship has been compromised sexually.
Spiritual. At its core, sexual integrity comes down to a spiritual commitment. The Christian message of how Christ loves His bride, the Church, is our inspiration. The prohibitions and consequences of sexual sin are secondary to the intimacy that one experiences in obedience to God. Our children need to see how our lives are different because of His love. With confidence, we can share with them that God’s true love will empower them to avoid the trap of pornography.
I know this is a tough one to read, but it is a serous one. Also remember that God is in the business of forgiveness and restoration. If you have a problem, his grace will cover you and there is help available. There are therapists who specialize in addiction, treatment centers, etc.
Have a great week,
PS while looking for an image for this post, I found Halloween costumes for Hugh Hefner…please do not dress up like him! Lol.